I promised all of you the next video would be about suicide. Here it is, but I’m warning you that it’s pretty open so if you don’t like hearing about *suicide* don’t watch this one. If you are curious, then hopefully something from this vid will resonate with you. You guys have been incredible; thank you, thank you, thank you. It is an HONOR to be able to share this recovery from SA with a group of people who are so damn compassionate and encouraging at the same time! *To those who wrote me …
Social Anxiety: My Story Pt. 27 (SA & Suicide)
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#1 by JaneyfromKorea on October 12th, 2008
“or have so little you might as well say you’re cured.”
i don’t know if this is accurate about me – if anything, i feel like i’m a 7 or 8 out of 10 on extremity of SAD
some people are more avoidant, so appear more socially anxious -whereas some people are constant flooders
but the fact that you said i’ll get over it, thank you — this i wholeheartedly believe is possible for everybody (when im rational).
#2 by ckkbleev on October 12th, 2008
wow i had no idea you experienced these kinds of feelings. the only things that i’ve heard concerning suicide have been from friends, tv, and sometimes the internet. i’ve never heard somebody actually explain that to me before. i applaud you
#3 by JaneyfromKorea on October 12th, 2008
#4 by OriginalModel1984 on October 13th, 2008
Hi Janey! Thanks a lot for making this video and for sharing it here.
I also had suicidal thoughts at one time but not anymore. I am still on tablets which are SRIs. Seratonin Reuptake Ihibitors. Something like that…
#5 by Piarose7 on October 28th, 2008
That’s the situation I’m in right now. I don’t have a job, don’t go to college. Well doing kinda nothing. And everybody looks at me like I am lazy or something, though I’m looking for a job. But since I’m out of school I feel better, I think because there isn’t any pressure on me anymore.
About feeling empty. I understand you. Depression is really bad. I also wanted to hurt myself, but was afraid of consequences after all. Thanks for sharing that
#6 by JaneyfromKorea on October 28th, 2008
I’m finding it nearly impossible to accept myself even though I’m not in school or have a job. It’s easy for me to look at somebody else and say, well they’re still okay! But why, when I think of me not *doing* something, is it so bad? Something that always helps is when somebody tells me to ‘trust the process’ and keep focusing on growth, not so much the end goal..
#7 by Piarose7 on October 29th, 2008
True, it’s good to know we grow in our lives and change and get better the way we already are.
#8 by liu11 on November 17th, 2008
in my eyes, school/work and these “accomplishments” are only subjective perceptions that have been formulated for so long to fit your personal definition
if they are the only means to happiness or satisfaction in life, it only creates pressure on yourself not to mention being severely harsh
whenever i feel like shit, i just remind myself, i got it better than probably 60% of the world even if i was working minimum wage, and i always got frds, vacation, hobbies n interests to look forward to
#9 by emilia84emilia on December 3rd, 2008
I appreciate your honesty in this video. I recently started my blog up and i know it takes a lot of effort to open up and go out on a limb. Thank you.
#10 by cbtodacb on December 20th, 2008
yeah janey…top vid…can really relate to your vid
#11 by AhYaOk on December 31st, 2008
wow. you are very brave. i think you learned from the experience. i think you know that you put unnecessary standards on yourself.
#12 by irishbloke99 on January 13th, 2009
Ive the exact same problem, for a long time before i went to get help i just went alogn with it buts its becoming very difficult to accept. I want to work and i would like to go back to college but im terrified of failure and not sure if i could handle either atm.
#13 by nattokirai2009 on March 31st, 2009
I don’t blame u sweetie. You are just a victim of that fucked up Korean culture BS.
#14 by beenthereaswell on May 8th, 2009
Went through the same thing in high school. My main motivation was more out of desperation. I never attempted it,(I didn’t want to embarass my parents was the main reason), but in a twisted way it was something I used to keep going. This sounds sick but it was like my ace in the hole in the sense that I could keep grinding through the days thinking that if I HAD to, suicide was an option. Thank God I didn’t and thank God HS is over. Even with SA, Life is beautiful and each day is a gift!
#15 by magestic99 on May 27th, 2009
i mean what keeps me going is that ” i NEVER give in”.any limitation life ever puts on me , il keep fighting and fighting even if i loose years of my life and il come back and prove ANY limitation wrong.thats just the way i was brougt up.this ilness is hell, but i think having high self esteem is soo important!we should always be potive as much as we can , cus SA is a lie.. why should we allow SA to doubt truth that is on OUR side. thats the way i think
#16 by JaneyfromKorea on May 27th, 2009
you want to know something, that’s exactly how i looked at it, like when things got real bad… the option of that helped me keep going? that’s really weird that u thought that too
#17 by mickiejames08 on June 15th, 2009
i don’t think it’s wierd. The thought of suicide curently keeps me going. I’ve attempted it twice, and failed. I once heard about a woman who took 4 paracetamols just for attention – to make the man she liked take notice of her. And she dies accidentally. i remember feeling jealous of her. I had taken some strong pills, and LOTS of them, and i just vomited they back up again. Thanx 4 posting this vid. take care
XxxxX
#18 by RockandRoller918 on July 22nd, 2009
The world would be a much worse of place if you killed yourself.You are a Lovely Lady and make people so Happy with your Videos.
#19 by bosmer26 on August 1st, 2009
I tried hanging myself with a belt,but luckily the belt broke.I was 16,and i was deeply infatuated with a girl.A friend speculated that i had SAD years ago,but with me a form of ADD sounds more reasonable then SAD.
#20 by Randomstuffs261 on August 7th, 2009
I’ve almost done it about 6 times
#21 by dimsdale321 on August 19th, 2009
I think all who have experienced thoughts of suicide and resisted, are warriors. We have faced our fears and come away victorious. It takes great mental strength to overcome such a thought when all else has gone to hell. Whether you believe it to be divine intervention, or pure will power, is up to you. Either way i believe we are still alive for a reason. I have yet to find the reason i am still alive, i guess time will tell. Good luck guys, you are all warriors, keep telling yourselves that.
#22 by vaduzcrew on September 11th, 2009
Im living in a South East Asian country and I think I have SA, but it’s hard to be open about it. Eastern Culture is very judgemental towards things like SA. I really want to post videos about my SA, but I don’t know how to do a video without my face seen in it. Anyway, good job w the video
#23 by cwzxpk on September 14th, 2009
You have the courage of a lion to post this video which brings help to so many -I wish you strength love and happiness foe the future
#24 by steveyboy500 on September 30th, 2009
Hi,very well done,you are a lovely lady and very brave.I am getting over SA,I am alot better now but it has been very tough and I regularly thought about suicide but Im glad I didnt! Church is helping me with the nice people there and all the encouragement.Keep going you are so worth it,keep telling yourself that.God loves you.Have you an e-mail addy?
#25 by tHomB1974 on November 21st, 2009
Thanks for sharing, can I ask do you ever ask yourself “”How did I get like this ?? I feel like I’m trying to find the missing piece that will unlock this wall.